1. |
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Ruth is stranger than Richard
But they'll both cling on to each other
They don't think we can go it alone
We must listen to mother
Don't get ideas above your station
You're a region, not a nation
And if you want to ask me questions
Don't ask me in the street
You're all a pack of dogs
Getting under my feet
Ruth is stranger than Richard
Ruth is stranger than Richard
Leave us alone to froth in rage
You had your chance now back in your cage
If you only think in negatives, you'll never unwind
Prejudice and bigotry are all in the mind
My mind
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2. |
The Burly Men Of Annan
04:05
|
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Well, my thirst to exercise
my democratic right
has been thwarted
My local polling station
is under intimidation
I am taunted
By shadowy figures
And threatening liggers
called Eric and Steven and Darren
Otherwise known around these parts
as the burly men of Annan
Well I have to confess
I was in a right mess
I was anxious and fractious
and fearful
They shot me a glance
I near wet my pants
I was shaking and quaking
and tearful
Oh those shadowy figures
And threatening liggers
called Eric and Steven and Darren
Otherwise known around these parts
as the burly men of Annan
I phoned my friend Ruth
to tell her the truth
so she could alert the nation
She fired off a tweet
to the cyber elite
warning of the infestation
I wiz worried aw jings
But Ruthy said things
could only get better
together vote early
avoiding those burly
men in their Arran sweaters
the gates were wrought iron not pearly
their overall demeanour was surly
chewing on a curly wurly
those Annan men ever so burly
In this land of sticks and carrots
We're opening up the postal ballots
With a crowbar, cos we can
I'm the surly burly man.
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3. |
Keir Hardy (sic)
04:06
|
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Keir Hardie
He founded the Labour Party
But they can't spell Hardie now
It's embarrassing
It's not a hard one
H.A.R.D.I.E
Not Laurel and Hardy
We're the kings of the gaffe
Don't you draw a cock and balls on the projector
It'll be the talk of the conference
It's all people will remember us for
Now it seems to me some typos
Are what's made us famous
Do you remember genertaion from before?
Keir Hardie
What have we done to your party
People are laughing
Many not few
Freedom, Ah freedom
That's just some people talkin'
You're prisoners walkin'
Through this world all alone
Is your spellchecker at fault here?
Can you get your arses in gear?
It's hard to tell the right
From the left
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how your members go away
Desperadoes
Why don't you come to your senses
Come down from your fences
Open the gate
It's not a hard one
But if you can't even spell your founder's name right
You're gonna be in the shite
You'd better let somebody love you
Goodbye Labour Party
H.A.R.D.Y.
H.A.R.D.Y.
H.A.R.D.Y.
Labour's hardy
They are H, hilarious
They are A, atrocious
They are R, ridiculous
They are D, delirious
Y, oh Y
They are H, hamfisted
They are A, archaic
They are R, real riddies
They are D, deluded
Y, oh Y oh Y
H.A.R.D.Y. (spell it)
H.A.R.D.Y.
Keir says goodbye
Keir says goodbye
|
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4. |
Day Job
01:52
|
|||
You!
You should be doin yir day job
You should be doin yir day job
You should be doin yir day job, day job, day job
Let's make a cake
Fuck politics let's bake
Fuck the day job, day job, day job
Waoow!
Do yir day job
Now tell me do you
Do you have any flour?
Cos you'll never have power
Do yir day job, day job, day job
Day job, day job, day job
Hypocrisy won't be forgotten
When you've got a soggy bottom
And tell that referee he's rotten
Do yir day job, day job, day job
wow
You're a star faker
Do yir day job
You're a star faker
Do yir day job
You're a star faker
Do yir day job
You're a star faker
Do yir day job
Star faker
Star faker
|
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5. |
Dickie
01:16
|
|||
Oh Dickie Leonard won
What the hell have you done, hey Dickie, hey Dickie
Oh Dickie, all the best
Hope you've got a bullet-proof vest, hey Dickie, hey Dickie
Oh Dickie let's get rad, don't just say SNP Bad
Hey Dickie, Hey Dickie
Hey Dickie
You've been and gone and won the Labour gig
You think you're on the left, but I think you're in the shit
Have the poisioned chalice and take a swally now Dickie
'Cause when you say you win, it always means you don't
You'll say you'll reform, baby, please, you know you won't
Every day you'll be living in the void Dickie
Oh Dickie, what a pity, you don't understand.
You're still letting London lead you by the hand
Oh Dickie, it's so shitty, you've joined the band
The North British Branch, Dickie
Oh what've you done Dickie, run Dickie
They'll fuck you up, Dickie
|
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6. |
Constitutional Crisis
00:23
|
|||
Constitutional, constitutional, constitutional fucking crisis
Constitutional, constitutional, constitutional fucking crisis
You can stuff your power grab
I'd rather drive a rusty Saab
Constitutional, constitutional, constitutional fucking crisis
|
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7. |
Reserved Or Devolved?
01:20
|
|||
I'm not too bright - my name is Dickie
I'm the leader of the Scottish Labour Party
I'm all about the workers
But the workers don't know what I'm called
And as for Scottish powers
I don't know what is reserved or devolved
They print my message in the Record and Sun
I had to tell them I ain't second to none
And I go on about equality and I wish
I knew what that involved
But when it comes to Scottish powers
I don't know what is reserved or devolved
|
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8. |
I Gotta Abstain
01:36
|
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9. |
Colonel Gadaftie
00:21
|
|||
Who's the gal when things get rough
Sitting on a tank and stuff?
You're havin a laugh eh?
It's Colonel Gadaftie!
|
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10. |
Jeremy Corbyn's Beard
02:35
|
|||
Hi my name is Steve
And I'm the beard
Of Jeremy Corbyn
You might think it weird
The fight starts here
Or at least tomorrow morning
The revolution will not be televised
But it will be hirsute
I'm holding back the rising fascist tide
Just like King Canute
Hi my name is Steve
And I'm the beard
Of Jeremy Corbyn
I'm as hard as ice
But awful nice
I abstain without warning
I won't take it lying down
I'll take it on the chin
I'm grey with just a hint of brown
I'm the beard of Jeremy Corbyn
I'm hairy, scary and very brave
I might need a little trim
But like Samson, I won't be shaved
Not by the hair on my Jeremy chin
the hair on my Jeremy chinny chin chin
the hair on my Jeremy chinny chin chin
the hair on my Jeremy chinny chin chin
Hi my name is Steve
And I'm the beard
Of Jeremy Corbyn
You might think it weird
The fight starts here
Or at least tomorrow morning
|
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11. |
Fratricide
03:39
|
|||
I believe in fratricide
I rest my case, don't cast aside
You better believe it
I'm Ruth Davidson
Take it or leave it, resign to it
Fratricide, fratricide
Fratricide, fratricide
Theresa May is by my side
So what I say is irrelevant
You better believe it
I'm Ruth Davidson
Take it or leave it, resign to it
Fratricide, fratricide
Fratricide, fratricide
You tried to tell me it's my fault because I'm rude
By letting loose this fratricide on Holyrood
I'll take your number I'll write it down
What's your address I'll write it down
I'll be in touch so don't leave town in a big black car
Fratricide, fratricide
Fratricide, fratricide
Fratricide, fratricide
Fratricide, fratricide
|
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12. |
Delete! Delete! Delete!
01:12
|
|||
Delete, delete, delete - my ears are ringing
I tried to be discreet but failed
The basket of deplorables are winning
Half my tweets are being jailed
I think I'm being witty but I shite it
My diplomatic skills are Strictly wank
I can't help getting over-excited
I prefer a buffalo or tank
Oh what can you do
When you've had a few
You feel like Oscar Wilde
Oh Ruth, Ruth, Ruth
You can't handle the truth
You have to appease her
Motherfucking Theresa
Delete, delete, delete!
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