Brexit gets me stressed out
So I’m drinking in the Strangers Bar
Picture this I was on my tenth shot
Eating complimentary caviar
How could I forget that I was
Aberdeen South MP
All this time I was sitting on a stool
Getting ever more wobbly
It’s not my fault if I just can’t cope
How can you pass up the chance to have a grope
I’ll hang myself if you give me enough rope
Half man half octopus*
Can I get a witness, well here’s what to say
If they say a night, convince them it is day
Nothing to see here, I was just bored
The bollocks were just resting in my hand m’lord**
They caught me off balance, uh (It wisnae me)
I was about to fall over (It wisnae me)]
I had to hang on to a trouser (It wisnaeme)
They even caught me on camera (It wisnae me)
For openness and transparency (It wisnae me)
I’ll refer me to the disciplinary (It wisnae me)
These serious allegations against me (It wisnae me)
Won’t stop me going to work on Monday
