You've probably never even heard of me
Michael White's moustache
But I've been patronising Lesly Riddoch on TV
Michael White's moustache
And defending all the liars but it's really not fair
Michael White's moustache
All you notice is my farcical facial hair
Michael White's moustache
Michael White's moustache
Michael White's moustache
It's a right stramash
A right stramash
And it's a real car crash
A real car crash
Michael White's moustache
Is it on the lash?
You probably think this song's about your politics
Michael White's tache
Michael White's tache
But I can't take my eyes off your upper lip
Michael White's tache
Michael White's tache
I'm trying to focus on the words spilling out your face
Michael White's tache
Michael White's tache
But I cannae take you seriously for fuck sake