Questionable Times

by Half Bam Half Whisky

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1.
The Panel 02:21
On Thursday night some people like to get their kicks By watching some old fogeys talking politics If you ask me, it's a questionable way to relax In the company of angsty, anquished anoraks Our guests tonight are inappropriate We got a comedian, corinthian and cabinet member and an academic nut He's historically inaccurate A huh huh A sitting round the table you will always see A Dimbleby, a Dimbleby, a Dimbleby Surrounded by some very dubious company And an apoplectic audience screaming 'Look at me!'
2.
Jakeballs 02:16
3.
Everyone's waiting for World War Three But meanwhile over on the BBC They think it would be good historically To dramatise pure bigotry Enoch Powell - the absolute bore Back on radio 4 Throwing a match on gunpowder What on earth are you doing this for? Auntie Beeb she don't wanna know she says We don't care what the neighbours think so we Will continue to champion free speech Like putting Farage on QT The country they don't wanna know They say you're a disgrace To the human race They say how can you show your face When you're a disgrace to the human race You've made a commitment You're an embarrassment Yes an embarrassment A living endorsement The intention that you have booked Was an intention that was overlooked They say don't be oblique It's supposed to be a critique The River Tiber foaming with blood Will drag you further into the mud Common sense don't wanna know it says This is a serious matter If it's too late to reconsider No one's gonna wanna know ya Most people they agree It's just incendiary It doesn't matter that it's an anniversary Even Ted Heath could see This was done maliciously BBC - You're an embarrassment
4.
Gammon 02:26
I say! We're Gammon: Our cheeks have a magenta hue. We're Gammon: And we really like Brexit too BBC Question Time, we can shout out anytime With bulging eyes and bulging vein or two Everyday you pay the price, when you kick your telly twice Gammon’ 'til the screen is through We’re Gammon, you thought that gammon was a thing of the past But Gammon, is a phenomenon that’s gonna last We’re Gammon, fuck the future of our daughters and sons We’re Gammon, the struggle is not over til the brexit is won No butcher can stop us now, it's the will of the people We can walk and we can talk Get over it remainers; Ham children must unite: Our life is worth much more than pork. Yeh! Holy Mount Gammon Rules all creation Yeah, we're - we're gammon (wotcher-ma'am), Wotcher-wa-wa-wa, we're gammon (wotcher-ma'am), See, I wanna ham it with you We're gammon (gammon, gammon, gammon) Ham's about my pride and truth I cannot hide To keep Brexit alive True ham that now exist is better than brisket, So ham by my side. We're gammon (gammon, gammon, gammon) I'm hammed: I hope you're gammon too
5.
6.
I saw you on my TV Hashtag BBCQT It was all a bit cringy Mo Farrah, Freddie Mercury Jesus was a Refugee Wearing Calvin Kleins in Calvary Gallus gals from Galilee Buy one god, get one free
7.
I've seen a lesbian kiwi fruit Got a bisexual pomegranate to boot But I've never seen a straight banana. Well, I've been to the end of the street and back And I own six albums by Shakatak But I've never seen a straight banana. - David Quantick I've had a closeted kumquat, gay gooseberries and what not, But I've never seen a straight banana - Rob Fraser I've known legumes both right and proper Heard fruity language from a bent copper But I've never seen a straight banana - JGray My plums are bi curious My mouldy peaches furious But I've never seen a straight banana My passion fruit has lost its ardour Tomatoes are twixt fridge and larder But I've never seen a straight banana
8.
Man at the back with the navy blue hat Woman in the middle in pink Person wearing the grey anorak What do you creatures think? chorus Do you agree with the lady on the gangway? I think we must discuss her pertinent points Should pop stars have a view if they are called Kanye? Does the panel think The Carpenters smoked joints? You there, sir, with bright green hair What is your opinion? Capital punishment, do you care? Death shall have no dominion Ooooh chorus And what about those straight bananas? You there with the dog Whose that in top hat and pyjamas? William Rees Mogg
9.
10.
11.
Porton Down 03:16
Step down get out of town Down down deeper and down Down down Porton Down Down down deeper and down I want all the world to see To see you're lying, that you're lying through your teeth F.O. Delete those tweets Again again again again Again again again and Boris Johnson Step down Boris Johnson Down down Boris Johnson Down down deeper and down Porton, Porton Down We have found you out you see We know what you are doing to the fucking country Keep shtum the BBC Again again again again Again-gain-gain-gain you fucking clown Step down Boris Johnson Down down you fucking clown Over Porton Down Down down deeper and down
12.
Fulsome Brexit Blues by The Nicola and Mhairi Chain I hear the Brexit comin' It's soundin' awfully grim, I want a referendum, And I wanna win, I'm stuck in Tory Britain, and time keeps draggin' on But that train crash is a comin' and so is Boris Johnson When I was just a deputy, Alex said to me One day you'll be head honcho of the SNP Then I shot the Labour leader just to watch him die When I hear those Tories bleating, I hang my head and sigh Mhairi saw those rich folks eating in the Westminster bar She said you talk shite hen and ordered chips, not caviar Well I know we've got it coming, I know we can be free But those people keep a Brexitin' And that's what tortures me
13.
Well, I don't care about this tory. Rack, rack, rack and ruin - I is cool Gonna shake my magic money tree Rack, rack, rack and ruin- I is cool I'm so tired of all this shit Give me a hard as nails Brexit Rack, rack, rack, rack and ruin I'm waiting for a plan Country's future in my hands Gonna Brexit, thanks to a bus It's gonna be the death of us Oh baby Everybody wave your hands in the air Over the cliff like we just don't care Rack, rack, rack, rack and ruin Rack, rack, rack, rack and ruin Rack, rack, rack, rack and ruin Rack, rack, rack, rack and ruin
14.
If every child in the country doesn't get more packets of Old English Spangles than they can eat in a lifetime on the 30th of March, Theresa May and her sorry crew of twitching wankers will deserve everything that's coming their way with the whistling hiss of raging Furies ripped to their tits on crack cocaine and Marmite. You know I'm right, you Brexiting clowns. You Brexiting clowns. You Brexiting clowns.

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released June 10, 2018

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Half Bam Half Whisky Edinburgh, UK

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